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Subject: Devyn’s Struggle V2-36 This is a fictional story that might involve sexual acts between two or more men. If this offends you, then please do not read any further. If you are under the legal age to read sexually explicit material then do not read any further. This story in no way represents any person living or dead. Any resemblance to any real person is purely coincidental. This story is the property of the author and no copying or posting to any other website is permitted without the author’s written consent. Please help keep Nifty going by donating to the awesome fty/donate.html A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right. Thomas Paine Devyn’s Struggle V2 Chapter 36 After a rough night of sleep, Devyn was up early the next morning. He had tossed and turned most of the night, thinking about how things had gone with Charlie. He knew it was rough coming to terms with your feelings, but to have the guy reject them, and him, the way Brent had hurt. Devyn could not help but wonder if he was ever going to find someone like Joe or Ethan. He wanted a guy that was comfortable with being gay or at least trying to accept those feelings. Since he knew he was not going to get any more sleep, he went out early and started doing the chores. He wanted to make things easier on Joe so that Joe could spend some quality time with Ethan. Devyn was sure that it was rough on Ethan. Devyn could not remember the last time the two men went out alone together. They were always including Devyn and Travis in all their outings. After doing the chores, Devyn fixed breakfast for everyone. Travis was already down eating his eggs when the smell of food and coffee pulled Ethan and then Joe from the bedroom. “I cannot believe I slept so late,” Joe said. “I got to get to the chores.” “They are done,” Devyn said. “Sit and eat.” “You did them?” Joe asked, “and fixed breakfast?” “Yeah,” Devyn said. “Thank you,” Joe said. “Just remember this the next time I need the truck and don’t get home until the next morning.” “Oh, I will remember it,” Joe said. “But it won’t keep me from kicking your little butt.” “That ass is too hot for kicking,” Ethan said. “I think it was made for spanking.” “Nope,” Joe said. “He might enjoy that too much.” “Hey, you two,” Devyn protested but chuckled. “Let’s just forget about my ass.” Devyn bent over to give the two dogs their morning allotment of food. His firm round butt was too inviting for Ethan to resist. “But it is so hot.” Ethan planted a firm smack on Devyn’s firm butt. “Knock it off,” Devyn said, straightening up and taking his place at the table. “Last night, Travis asked me if he and I were boyfriends.” “He did what?” Joe said surprised. “He was making comparisons between how you and Ethan act and how he and I act.” “I’m not sure I understand,” Joe said. “Well the two of you hug and kiss,” Devyn explained, “and sometimes Travis and I hug and kiss. We also wrestle around some and the other night…well the other night he saw you and Ethan wrestling…wrestling naked.” “Shit,” Ethan said. “I thought I saw someone pop in but was, well a little…um…occupied and didn’t really process it. “What did you tell him?” Joe asked. “That he and I are brothers and not boyfriends and that he needs to knock before going into Uncle Joe’s room.” “I think you handled that well,” Joe said. “Thanks.” “I like him coming to me with his problems,” Devyn said. “I do think of him as a little brother.” “Speaking of problems,” Ethan began. “You never really said what happened with the hardware.” Hardware?” Joe asked, looking from Ethan to Devyn. “Let’s just leave that alone,” Devyn said. “We went by the hardware store yesterday,” Ethan explained to Joe. “Oh,” Joe said, the light coming on in his mind. “Charlie must be back from California.” “He is,” Devyn said and got up carrying his plate to the sink. “I guess things did not go well,” Joe said, his voice filled with his concern. “He seemed a bit quiet afterwards,” Ethan said. “Remind me to never tell you a secret,” Devyn growled. “You never said it was a secret,” Ethan countered. “Charlie wasn’t excited to see you,” Joe guessed. Devyn took a deep breath. “He shut me out. It was like Brent all over again.” Devyn kept his back to the table and was looking out the window. “I’m sorry,” Joe said. He got up and moved to the sink. He slid his arm around Devyn. “He probably just needs time.” “I’m not sure I can do that again,” Devyn said. His voice was soft as he spoke. “I’m not sure I can handle that pain. If it was just staying in the closet that is one thing, but to deny our friendship like that…I am not that strong.” “Keep in mind, it is hard on Charlie,” Joe said, still holding Devyn to his side. He was looking out the window while talking. “Charlie has never really known another gay guy. Well at least an openly gay guy. He has no point of reference, other than what people say. Everyone knows I’m gay but I have never pushed the boundaries. I probably should have set a better example for the younger gay kids. I should have been more public about being gay. He is going to need some time to accept himself.” “The whole thing just felt like Brent all over again.” Devyn did not look at Joe, instead he studied the birds flying around over the garden. “Don’t count Charlie out too fast,” Joe said, rubbing Devyn’s back. “This is new to him. He needs time.” “It just hurt,” Devyn said, still looking out the window. “I know,” Joe said. “Maybe Charlie isn’t the right guy, but he is out there.” “Sure,” Devyn said. “Also remember, you are still feeling what Brent did to you.” Joe moved behind Devyn to rub the teenager’s shoulders. “Brent hurt more because you were both more emotionally involved. Be sure that what you are feeling is solely because of Charlie and you aren’t projecting some of the feelings about Brent onto Charlie.” Devyn had not considered that he might be letting his feelings about Brent influence how he was handling Charlie’s rejection. “I’ll think about that.” The teenager let out a soft sigh as Joe’s strong hands worked out some of the tension in Devyn’s neck and shoulders. “Your breakfast was awesome,” Ethan said, clearing his and Joe’s dishes from the table. He wanted to cheer Devyn up. He just was not sure how. “It was very good,” Joe agreed. I had better start moving those bales in today.” “Nope,” Devyn said. “I have that covered. You and Ethan just go have fun together. Go to a movie or take a walk. Spend some time together when you are not wrestling.” “Very funny,” Joe said. He then turned to Ethan. “What about it?? How long can you stay today?” Placing his dishes in the sink Ethan turned to Joe. “I have the day off, so I am yours.” “I’ll take care of Travis,” Devyn said. “He can ride along with me while I move the bales.” Ethan placed his hand on Devyn’s shoulder. “If you want,” Ethan began looking into the attractive teen’s brown eyes, “I have some friends I could introduce you to. You and Joe could come over and we could all go out.” “I, um, am looking for more than just sex,” Devyn said. “I have done that.” “I know,” Ethan said. “I mean that you are looking for a relationship. An older guy that is more comfortable with his sexuality might work better for you. That is if you are alright with an older guy?” “Yeah,” Devyn said smiling at Joe. “I can find older guys damn sexy.” “I bet you can,” Ethan said and felt a brief flare of jealousy. He knew Joe and Devyn were close. He also knew the two were more like family than anything else. He still felt a little jealous knowing Devyn had a part of Joe that he would never have. “I have one friend I think you would like,” Ethan said. “Why not bursa escort come over this week and you can meet him. If nothing else, he is a good guy and it never hurts to have friends.” “I’ll think about it,” Devyn said. “It could be fun.” “Keep in mind he is still in high school,” Joe said looking at Ethan. “But if it is the right guy, I think you could consider it. It could be good for you.” “I will think about it,” Devyn said again. “He’s a couple years younger than me,” Ethan said, “but a couple years older than you. He’s completely comfortable being gay so that won’t be an issue. Plus, he’s hot and has a big…” “I’ll think about it,” Devyn said again, cutting Ethan off but smiling at his friend. “Alright,” Ethan said, dropping it. “Are you sure you don’t mind doing the work and taking care of Travis today?” Joe asked Devyn before Joe and Ethan left. “Yes,” Devyn said. “You deserve one day off. Go have fun with your boyfriend. Travis and I will be fine.” “We could take Travis with us,” Joe offered. “No,” Devyn said. “Have some alone time with Ethan. You two never get to spend time together without me and Travis there…that is unless you are locked in your bedroom.” “Thanks,” Joe said and hugged Devyn tight. Then Joe and Ethan headed out in Ethan’s car to have a day together. “I would like to make one stop,” Joe said once the two were in Ethan’s car. “Oh, and where would that be?” Ethan asked. “The hardware store,” Joe said. “Are you okay being introduced as my boyfriend?” “Most definitely yes,” Ethan said smiling. “Are you fine with that?” “I am not ashamed of being gay,” Joe said, as Ethan was driving down the gravel road. “It might have been a mistake for me to keep everything so low key. Growing up with a homophobic father wasn’t easy, and accepting myself for who God made me wasn’t easy. I should have pushed the boundaries and made people reconsider exactly what normal is.” “In other words,” Ethan said, smiling as he pulled onto the highway. “You want to be a good stand up example of a gay boy for Charlie.” “Exactly,” Joe said. “Charlie may just need to see other openly gay guys doing normal everyday things. But it isn’t just for Charlie. There are other gay kids in town that are just as reluctant as Charlie to accept themselves for who God made them. I should try and make it a little easier for them even if it is just being more out and about.” Devyn went about cleaning up the kitchen. He then went out to hook up the trailer to haul the bales. He was getting good at learning the ins and outs of the farm. Although he still had trouble backing the truck up and hooking up the trailer. It took him several tries but he finally got the truck in the right spot. He wondered how Joe could get them aligned so effortlessly. Lee showed up right on time. Devyn could not help admire the man. He was in awesome shape. He was one cop that did not spend his time at the donut shop. His shoulders were broad and tapered down to a narrow waist. His chest filled out the snug t-shirt and his arms were solid muscles. Devyn glanced down quickly and the man’s blue jeans hugged him tight in all the right places. “Thanks for helping me out,” Devyn said. “Joe deserves a day off.” “He definitely does,” Lee said. “He has never been good at taking time off. He gets that from his old man. That man never took time off.” “Joe doesn’t talk about him much.” Devyn looked at Lee, wondering just how much the man might be able to tell him about Joe and his father. “I am sure that is true,” Lee said looking away from Devyn’s puppy dog like brown eyes. “Joe told me his father was rough on him,” Devyn prompted when Lee was not volunteering any more information. “That is an understatement.” Lee looked off at the barn remembering. “The man thought he could beat the gay out of Joe. I wish I had been able to do more for him.” “Joe said you stood by him,” Devyn said. Devyn could not remember Lee ever looking so serious. The guy was usually goofy and joking around. “He’s my best friend,” Lee said. “I would walk through fire for him.” “From what Joe tells me, it was a kind of hell with his dad.” Devyn studied Lee’s face. He wanted to know more about Joe and maybe Lee was going to give him some of the history. “It was hell for Joe. He wanted to be the perfect son but for his old man that meant being straight. Joe was going to keep it hidden. He never intended to tell anyone but me. I think he only told me so he would have at least one person that he could be open with. He wanted one person he did not have to hide from. I’m glad I could be that for him.” Devyn wished he had a friend like that. He had thought Brent was that, but Brent had turned his back on him. Lee had stood by Joe. Devyn wondered if he would ever have a Lee. “You are a good friend.” “As much as I could,” Lee said. “You know, that hay isn’t going to move itself. So, am I on the tractor, or are you?” Devyn realized he had gotten as much out of Lee as he was going to get. “You. I am not that good at using the hay fork. I might drop it on the trailer and break it. Plus, you will be better at stacking them in the barn. I might knock it down.” “Yeah, then I had better drive the tractor,” Lee agreed. “You can drive the truck and trailer.” Travis rode along with Devyn in the cab of the truck. Devyn felt a little bad for Lee out there in the hot sun. The guy did not seem to mind. It took them almost all afternoon to pick up all the bales and haul them back to the barn. Travis enjoyed watching Lee place the bales on the trailer and even more when he stacked them in the shed. “He’s almost as good as Uncle Joe,” Travis signed. “Yes,” Devyn responded. “Thanks again Lee,” Devyn said after they had placed the last of the bales in the barn. “You were a big help.” “No problem,” Lee said. He was standing there as Devyn unhooked the trailer. Devyn was leaning over, cranking the jack down, and looking right at Lee’s crotch; the sweat dampened blue jeans were clinging even more tightly to Lee’s legs. They were emphasizing his manhood. Devyn licked his lips and forced his gaze back down to the trailer. He could not be having these feelings. It had just been so long since he had been with another guy. He missed the feeling of the hard body against his. He missed the touch of strong hands. He missed exploring hard muscles and the feelings of pleasure that a mouth, hand, and tongue can give. Maybe I should have had Ethan fix me up with some college dude just for hot sex, Devyn thought. “Thanks,” Lee said, as Travis handed him a water jug. He drank from it greedily. Devyn looked back up to see the man had pulled off his t-shirt. His chest was covered in a dense layer of dark hair. It was damp with sweat. Devyn did not think he had ever seen anyone with a more perfect thatch of chest hair. It traveled across both of the man’s solid pectoral muscles and down over the rock-hard flat belly. It disappeared into his tight-fitting Levi’s. Devyn straightened up and tried to keep his eyes on Lee’s face and not his body or anywhere else that was inappropriate. “When do you think Joe will be back?” Lee asked. “I don’t really know,” Devyn said. He watched as Lee lifted the jug to his lips and drank again. His arm flexed and his biceps bulged. Devyn felt himself growing inside his own jeans. He was going to have a problem if he was not careful. “You really do just need to have a long fuck session,” Devyn thought to himself. “What is he asking?” Lee asked Devyn, indicating Travis. Turning his attention from Lee’s masculine body, Devyn looked at what Travis was saying. “He wants a ride in your cop car.” “Sure. Next time I’m on my regular patrol. I can just come out and pick him up and take him along.” bursa escort bayan Devyn translated what Lee was saying. Travis appeared excited about the idea. “It amazes me you learned that,” Lee said, indicating the signs Devyn was making. “It takes a lot of practice. I am still improving. Doing it every day with Travis really helps.” Devyn did believe that since Travis had moved in that his ASL abilities had improved. “You know I never tried to learn,” Lee admitted. “Travis was only here occasionally and I always just pantomimed with him. It was kind of fun but knowing sign would probably be a good idea. Um, do you think, um, you could teach me?” “Sure,” Devyn said. “Joe is better at it than I am. I’m surprised he never taught you.” “Well Travis would only visit for a couple days at a time before,” Lee explained. “There was really never any need for me to learn it. I wish I had though. It would be nice to be able to talk to Travis on my own. Plus, you never know, it might be handy on the job someday.” “Well, I would be happy to teach you,” Devyn offered. “When you have free time.” “Let’s start now,” Lee said. “But somewhere shadier.” “Sure,” Devyn said. They moved to the porch and sat side by side in the swing. Devyn started off by teaching Lee the alphabet. It was harder for Devyn to keep his mind on the lesson as Lee was still sitting there shirtless and looking damn sexy to Devyn. He so wanted to run his fingers through all that damp chest hair. He wanted to bury his nose in it and drink in the scent of the man. He tried concentrating his eyes on Lee’s hands as they formed the letters. He tried looking at the man’s handsome face with its five o’clock shadow and electric blue eyes. The jet-black hair made his facial features even more attractive. Devyn knew he had to get his mind off the man’s body. He knew Lee was straight. Joe had told Devyn that Lee and Melissa had been together for several years. “This is harder than you and Joe make it look,” Lee said, a little frustrated with a couple of the signs. “It takes practice,” Devyn said. “No, you need to hold your fingers like this.” Devyn showed Lee the sign again and since the cop still was not getting his fingers in quite the right position Devyn reached over and took hold of Lee’s hand. He felt a jolt as he touched the man. He manipulated Lee’s fingers showing him the proper sign. Devyn licked his lips. “Um, like that.” “Thanks,” Lee said, his fingers still in Devyn’s grip. “I think I got it now.” Devyn released the man. He could feel his body sweating and he was not sure it was from the heat. He watched as Lee made another pass through the alphabet. “Thanks,” Lee said after his fourth pass through the alphabet. “At least now I can spell out the words.” “It helps to work on it every day.” Devyn could remember all the days he and Joe would only sign to each other. It had made their talks much more meaningful. In some ways, it probably helped to glue them together in their new relationship. It might not be a romantic relationship, but in some ways it was stronger than that sort of connection. Devyn did not know the word for it. It was kind of beyond family. “The more you use it the easier it will get.” “I’m not sure I believe you,” Lee said, going over the alphabet again. “It is a start,” Devyn said. “There are classes at the college you could take. I did that and it was actually a great experience.” “Maybe,” Lee said. “I just want to be able to talk to Travis or any other deaf person that I need to communicate with.” “Well think about it,” Devyn said. “When I get a chance, I am going to take the advanced course.” “Well, maybe I should take the introduction,” Lee said. “Then we could take the advanced course together.” “That could be fun,” Devyn said. He was not sure how he would survive spending a lot of time with Lee. The man was sexier than Devyn had ever realized before. He was beginning to realize he was always becoming attracted to the wrong guy. “I guess I had better get going,” Lee said. “Melissa will wonder what happened to me. We were going out tonight.” “Oh, sorry if I kept you,” Devyn said. “Nope,” Lee said. “I wanted to learn and you are a good teacher.” “Thanks.” Devyn felt something in his belly jump at the praise from Lee. He knew he needed to control these crazy feelings for Joe’s best friend. “I’ll see you later,” Lee said and squeezed Devyn’s shoulder as he got up from the swing. Devyn watched the man as he moved down the porch steps. He looked at those broad shoulders with Lee’s damp t-shirt draped over one of them. Devyn’s eyes traveled over the solid muscles of his shoulders and down to the narrow waist. Lee’s shirt slid from his shoulder and the man grabbed for it but missed. The shirt landed on the ground. Devyn’s eyes were glued to Lee’s backside as the man bent and retrieved the shirt. Devyn could see that firm ass flexing in the tight and sweat damp blue jeans. Reaching down, Devyn adjusted his teenage equipment. He was going to have to wait for Lee to be out of sight before getting up. Devyn could not stop his mind from wondering if Lee was as hairy below the waist, as he was above it. He wondered if those solid mounds of ass muscle were covered in hair. He wondered what they would feel like in his hands. He wondered if he could drive Lee crazy by playing with that ass and teasing the man’s other male equipment. Lee waived as he got into his car and Devyn waived back. He waited for the car to disappear down the road before adjusting himself again and getting up from the swing. “I hope Melissa knows what a lucky woman she is,” Devyn thought. After doing the rest of the daily chores, Devyn fixed dinner for him and Travis. He then played a couple board games with Travis and finally put the youngster to bed. He stripped off his clothes in the bathroom and dumped them into the hamper. He then stepped into the shower. He lathered up his brown hair and washed away the sweat and dirt. His eyes were closed as he let the soap and hot water cascade over his body. He showered, washing away the day’s sweat. Unfortunately, he could not wash away the image of Lee shirtless. Devyn had never known anyone with that perfect chest hair. It contrasted so much with his perfectly smooth one. He wanted to run his fingers across it. He wanted to feel the hard muscles and the soft hairs that covered them. He reached down in the shower and began stroking himself. It had been so long since another man had touched him sexually. He closed his eyes and thought about what it might be like if it was Lee’s callused hand stroking him. If it was Lee’s fingers gently fondling his cum filled balls. Devyn let out a soft moan as the pleasure in his cock built. Suddenly he felt a blast of cold air as the shower door was pulled open. “Maybe there is something else we can help each other with,” Lee said stepping into the shower and closing the door. Devyn looked from the man’s blue eyes down over the hairy chest. The hair was now even darker with the water cascading through it. Devyn’s eyes traveled lower to the erection protruding from Lee’s black pubic hair. Devyn’s eyes looked back up and met Lee’s blue ones. Lee is silent as he steps closer and pushes Devyn against the shower wall. Devyn’s arms go around Lee and his hands begin caressing up and down Lee’s back. Devyn’s hands slide lower to find Lee’s hairy ass. He grips those firm buns as the man’s mouth covers his. Their wet bodies pressed together under the hot water spraying over them from the shower head. The kiss breaks and Devyn is looking into those inviting blue eyes. He wants Lee in the worst way. He wants the man. His hands rub Lee’s hairy chest. He can feel the soft wet hair as he feels the escort bursa solid muscles under them His fingers find Lee’s nipples that are buried in that thick pelt. He lightly pinches them and hears the soft moan of pleasure come from Lee’s lips. Lee’s five o’clock shadow rubs against Devyn’s smooth cheek. Their lips find each other again and the two kiss there, under the running water. Lee’s strong hands pull Devyn’s smooth body against his hairy one. Now it is Lee’s hands sliding up and down Devyn’s wet back. They slide down farther, gripping the teenager’s smooth butt. He pulls Devyn even tighter to him. Devyn’s rock-hard teenage cock is pressed against Lee’s throbbing member. Lee’s tongue pushes its way into Devyn’s mouth. Lee’s strong hands are massaging the smooth globes of Devyn’s ass as the two kiss. The kiss broke and Devyn looked into those electric blue eyes. He could see the lust burning there in the blue eyes. He could see the desire. Devyn’s hand was wrapping around the stiff member of Lee’s manhood. He was rubbing his thumb over the head of Lee’s cock and watching the expression of pleasure on Lee’s face. Devyn kisses the man’s neck and shoulder. His mouth working lower and finding the nipple in that chest hair. He lightly bites it as Lee moans in pleasure. Devyn’s hand was continuing to stroke Lee as his mouth worked first one nipple and then the other. Lee’s fingers were tangled in Devyn’s brown hair. His cock was throbbing and leaking precum like a hose. With a little pressure the teenager was down on his knees on the shower floor. His warm chocolate eyes were looking right at Lee’s tool sticking out from the dense forest of black curls. “Please Devyn,” Lee said his voice deep and filled with his lust. “She never does it.” Leaning a little closer Devyn swipes his tongue across the tip of Lee’s cock. He hears the man moaning above him as he licks that fat knob again and again. His fingers fondle Lee’s hairy balls. The thick sack of fur protecting the two sensitive organs. Devyn’s other hand is stroking the shaft of Lee’s cock as he takes the head into his mouth. His tongue swirls around that knob as he strokes the shaft. Lee’s fingers are tangled in his hair as he begins sucking up and down. His mouth sliding further down the shaft. Devyn can hear Lee moan louder as he sucks up and down on a third of Lee’s hard shaft. He takes more of Lee into his mouth and feels the man’s hand gripping him harder. He can feel Lee’s hips wanting to thrust but Lee is holding back. Devyn understands that Lee is letting him set the pace. Lee is letting Devyn take as much of that cock as he can. Devyn slides slowly down Lee’s shaft. Soon he feels Lee’s cock head at the back of his throat. Devyn swallows and forces down his gag reflex, taking Lee’s cock into his throat and pushing his lips to the base of Lee’s meaty member. Devyn has his nose buried in Lee’s thick pubic thatch. He can feel the thick member throbbing in his mouth. Lee’s moan of pleasure is loud over the hot water that is cascading over their naked bodies. Devyn can feel both of Lee’s hands in his hair. The man’s head is thrown back in pure pleasure. Devyn’s talented mouth sets to work giving Lee pleasure. His throat and tongue work over Lee’s erection causing more moans and precum to flow from the man. The hot water is washing away the saliva that is dripping from the corners of Devyn’s mouth and down his chin. Lee moans again. The man’s hairy balls are pulling up. His impressive member swells inside Devyn’s mouth. Devyn backs up the shaft, holding the head in his mouth as the cock begins spewing forth Lee’s seed. Devyn drinks it down, squirt after squirt of the man’s load. Lee’s moan of pleasure is loud in the small shower. His groans of satisfaction coming with each jet of cum that floods into Devyn’s mouth. Devyn looks up from the shower floor into the sparkling blue eyes. He allows Lee to pull him to his feet and they kiss there under the water sharing the last of Lee’s load. Then Lee squats down in front of Devyn. The man takes Devyn’s erection into his fist. He looks at the teenagers’ cock. He can see the precum oozing from the head. He looks up at the smooth body of the younger man. “I’ve never done this before. I probably won’t be as good at it as you.” Before Devyn can say anything, Lee’s mouth has encircled his cock and the man is sucking him. Devyn cannot believe that this straight man is down on his knees sucking his cock. Lee pulls off and looks up at Devyn. His eyes taking in the teenager’s smooth body. His eyes meeting Devyn’s. “Was I alright?” “Oh, fuck yes,” Devyn moans. Lee smiles up at him and then takes the teenager back into his mouth. He sucks on the head tasting Devyn’s pre cum. He then starts working his way down the teenager’s member until his roman nose is buried in the soft brown curls. “Oh yes,” Devyn moans. It has been so long since anyone has sucked him. It has been too long since he has had this feeling of pleasure. He could feel Lee’s five o’clock shadow scraping against his balls as he is sucking on the teenage cock. Devyn tangles his fingers in Lee’s jet-black hair. He starts thrusting into Lee’s mouth and the man meets those thrusts. Devyn can feel his balls pulling up. He can feel his cock getting closer. He was falling over the edge and into orgasmic pleasure. “Oh yes,” Devyn moaned as his cock erupted sending jets of his cum firing out and onto the shower wall. Jet after jet hit the wall and was quickly washed down the drain. Devyn opened his eyes looking at the shower wall. His fantasy had dissolved with his climax. Devyn turns off the water, still stunned at the intensity of his fantasy. He cannot believe he was thinking about Lee like that. He opens the shower door, grabs the towel and begins drying. His cock is still half hard as he is stepping out of the shower. The fantasy had been almost too real. “What is the matter with you?” he asked himself. He was fixated on a guy that was one of Joe’s oldest and closest friends. Not to mention the guy was straight. He had to get a grip. He kept falling for guys who were not right for him. He had been so sure that Brent was his once in a lifetime love. He had then thought Tom, of all people, was a true love. Then he moved it to Joe, then along came Charlie. Now he had moved his feelings to Lee. “What is wrong with you?” He asked the reflection in the mirror. “Why do you keep jumping your feelings from one guy to the next? Why?” Devyn had no idea why. He just knew he wanted to find someone that loved him. He knew Joe loved him but it was not in the romantic way that he needed right at that moment. He had hoped it was Charlie. Charlie was so cute and so nice and the right age. They could have been great together. But Charlie had brushed him off. Charlie had ended it before it had ever started. “Stop being a fucking little queer,” He told himself. “Be a man. Grow up and be a man.” He finished up in the bathroom. He flipped off the lights as he headed up to bed. He looked in on Travis. The boy was asleep there on his bed with the young dog curled up next to him. Devyn watched the kid sleeping and wished he could be that age again. Life had seemed so simple back then. He moved to his room and slid into bed. He was tired, but was finding it hard to sleep. He kept picturing Lee’s naked body. Then he was seeing Joe. Then Brent. He wondered how Brent was. He wondered if he had accepted being gay or if Brent was still denying the truth. Devyn wondered if he needed to go and try to see Brent again. Maybe Joe had been right and Charlie’s rejection was hurting more because he had not dealt with his feelings and hurt regarding Brent. He knew at some point he was going to have to deal with it. He was going to have to deal with Brent and he needed to deal with his feelings about Frank. Copyright 2021 by Keith yates att) all rights reserved. Character is much easier kept than recovered. Thomas Paine

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